6:30 a.m.
My alarm goes off. This is a later than usual wake-up call for me, but I had wanted to give myself at least 6.5 hours of sleep (although, I prefer a solid 7-8).
Dread. I immediately felt discouraged, which is very unlike me. I was tired. It had been a very long first week of my accelerated nursing program. I reached a new level of mental exhaustion. Regardless, I got out of bed. I knew that if I didn't, I would go back to sleep, and then I would be pissed off at myself the rest of the day for having not gone on my run.
Tears. Say what!? Yes, I started crying. This was going to be a tough day. I contemplated running along the canals - flat and easy. I could just "zone out." But, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a gift my Dad had given me just the afternoon before: a new Dirtbag Runners hat, fresh out of the shipping package.
Rats. Decision made; trails it would be. After all, I don't run to zone out. I run for clarity. It is my sanity.
I ran 12 hilly, technical miles yesterday. Today, I muscled through 15 more. Surprisingly, after the first initial climb of this particular trail, I felt strong. Tired, but strong. Ultra-training at it's best!
This year is going to be a challenging one. I can guarantee that each day will serve as a reminder. Managing the expectations and time commitment of nursing school without losing my sense of self, and all that is important to me, will not be an easy task. After this week, all I can say is that I am going to take it one day, one week at a time.
As for today, I got out there. I did what I do. I wiped the tears away, put on my hat, ran my long run, and put in another 7 hours of study time. I got it done. Some days it is harder to get started, but every day it is worth it in the end.
Don't let the grind get you down. Show the grind what you're made of!
