I've been a night-shift nurse since April (and I am so NOT a night owl!). I got married in June (after only 8 weeks of dating!). To say there's been a lot of change in my life in a short period of time is an understatement. And it hasn't been easy. Quite the contrary, actually.
Nearly everyday I struggle with trying to find a sleep pattern conducive to being awake all night 3 nights/week, maintaining some semblance of a social life with my hubby, family, and friends, and finding time to run.
Wait, run? What's that?
Last year, during nursing school, I managed to train for and run a 50-mile trail race in the Spring, and complete a half-Ironman in the Fall. Early this past year, I placed 6th overall female in a 40K trail race, but that was before I started working on the night shift, and ever since, I've been battling chronic fatigue. My mind wants to run and workout, but my body fights back, screaming for more rest and recovery. Opting for more sleep, especially since any sleep that I do get is less than optimal, has won more often than opting for a run in these past 8 months. I haven't been "training," and I can feel the differences in the sporadic workouts that I do accomplish.
I've tried getting up early to run, hoping to be tired enough to nap before work, but I'm not a good napper. I never have been. The exhaustion that sets in after a 12+ hour shift leads to such a state of delirium and lack of coordination that it simply wouldn't be smart for me to attempt to workout after a shift before sleeping. Currently, I'm trying to train my body and sleep cycle to stay up later and sleep in later, with the help of my husband, even on the days/nights that I don't work. I'm equally trying to remain optimistic that this might help me find a more "regular" pattern again.
Running is part of my happy. I have to find a way to incorporate my consistency again, not only for my physical health, but perhaps more importantly, for my mental health. Fortunately, my hubby is supportive and pulls me through the slumps, and I have dirtbag runner friends willing to sneak a few miles with me, day or night.
So, here's to hoping that I can find my fuel again in 2017!
**I wrote this post one week ago as I rode up to Flagstaff with my husband's family to celebrate the new year. The very next day, I started to feel under the weather, and battled a cold all week. Last night was my first night back to work this week, and it was a tough shift. Today, I was woken up, yet again, by the neighbor kids after only sleeping 3 hours, and I have been awake since, moving from room to room, trying to find the dark, quiet areas of the house. I write this addendum from my closet, as I lay on a camping map with my pillow and a blanket. I'm not looking for sympathy, just an outlet. If I lay here, awake but wanting and needing to sleep, I just get frustrated that I can't sleep, and it's a vicious cycle. Perhaps I'll write more this year. Better yet, maybe I'll run more.**
